God is Selfish

This blog post may be slightly nsfw due to subject matter.

For some reason, I decided to ponder the question (from a christian perspective) of why god would have created sex. I came up with two plausible reasons that nearly fit within christian theology for this "creation." I also came up with many many less than plausible reasons, and a few runners up may be addressed at the end.

One option is that god, being the perfect loving being, gave sex as a gift to humanity because he knew from experience how wonderful it is. That means either that god-the-father and Jesus are separate enough to have had and enjoyed sex together or, since it is heresy to deny that they are separate beings, that god masturbates and likes it. However, since he forbids masturbation elsewhere in the bible and most if not all churches treat masturbation as a sin, that seems a bit hypocritical of him, no matter how "selfless" he was in giving sex to humans.

Obviously, as an atheist, I cannot believe that god is that selfless, given the many examples in the bible of him insisting on being put first, including the first two of the famous ten commandments and quotes like, "I the lord your god am a jealous god," and "give your first fruits to the lord" which show off that god is a selfish being and knows it. Therefore I find this second option that much more convincing. God is a voyeur. Why else would he create something so wonderful and then put so many restrictions on it? He prefers certain methods of sex to others, so he's convinced humanity that all else is a sin. It's a little bit selfish, but quite understandable. If I was an omnivident (all-seeing) being, I would ask the people I could always see to have sex in the ways I preferred to see so I had less to see of ways I didn't like. I might even ask them not to have sex so often because I would get tired of seeing it. I think god as a voyeur, a picky watcher of everyone's sex, makes lots of sense.

Some christians may protest that god just knows everything and created sex to be good without personal experience. (This is one of those runners-up because of the prevalence of the idea.) But since he created it and then insisted on restricting it, that just seems mean. If he restricts it because he doesn't want anything to rival him in our obsessions, he could have wired us not to enjoy it so much or simply not creating anything that we react to with that level of pleasure. If baby-making itself is so dirty, then he could have made something else to give us that sort of pleasure if the motivation really was to give us a gift. I really can't believe that the act of creating sex was selfless.

Anyway, the impression I get from churches is that sex is so bad because it's god's rival for our attention and god wants all of our attention. I think that's further proof of my own beliefs, that god did not create sex at all, either because he's made up or because he is not all-powerful.

Well, I'm always open to more opinions. Comment below if I've missed an alternative that seems obvious to you.